Focusing on myself, to make myself less.
These past three months at YWAM Denver have shown me more about myself than I intended to discover. It has been a scary process because I have seen myself trip and fall time and time again. I knew that my human self was nothing, but I have come to see that I believed that I was nothing even in Christ. I had bought into the lie that “the old Jesse” was still hanging onto me and that it was my duty to carry him the rest of my days. False! Jesus conquered the grave and he conquered my life, inside and out, no more old Jesse, no more false self. While I did doubt who I truly was, I really doubted who He is. Before any of us can discover our true selves, we need to first grasp onto Him who is faithful to save, and allow him to save. We tend to only acknowledge the Lord as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, but not the God of our lives, the Lord of our salvation. My journey to do this is continuous and long, but I have made great progress while running after His promises. I can’t imagine going day-to-day without knowing my true identity in Christ. How do others go day-to-day without knowing theirs? Where do people find their hope? Where do they find rest, peace, joy, passion, grace, and out of all, love?
I had a great conversation today with the Love of my life where we discussed how almost every Christian has difficulties identifying who they are in Christ. So many people ((myself included)) skip this important issue to focus on things that are so far beyond what they can handle without first knowing their identity. They don’t know who they truly are in Christ but they try to evangelize and see no progress. Is that supposed to surprise us, that we don’t see transformation and salvation? It’s because we’re evangelizing something that isn’t really active and true in our daily lives. Many people would be offended by such an accusation (though I accuse myself with them), and that’s mainly because it is scary to realize that it’s true! Have you ever encountered a great salesman, one of those folks that could sell oxygen if they wanted to? They are all men and woman that believe in their product; they eat, sleep and breathe X Y & Z. The principle is the same with salvation… passion is captivating and contagious in the world today. How many people sit around bus stops, restaurant tables, living room couches and church pews without anything better to be passionate about than their favorite football team or that new car parked in the driveway?! I’d much rather spend my time around a passionate unbelieving jump-roper than sitting in a church full of people just waiting for lunch! How did we get to a place where our relationship with God is like a line on a heart monitor, up and down every other second? Do we even know our Father?
Some will say that I am too forward and passionate about this, but that it is my heart to see everyone come to understand the fullness of Christ in their lives. It is so difficult for me to sit in church watching people just getting by in their relationship with the Lord. It is painfully heartbreaking to hear about those are slipping away. We hear time and time again about how seeds fell on anything but good soil and the fruit never comes. People burn out, and then they find other things to get them by. I have known too many people that have burnt out and gone back to a worse place than they were before they knew Christ. It is a lack of passion and transformation that sends people to that place.
Our identity lies in the presence and power of God. So many people never bother to dig to find the presence of God in their lives, but are content to let God speak to the pastor or the missionary and hear everything second-hand from them. It’s like the Israelites in Exodus 20:18-21, deciding they didn’t want to see God face to face, but only hear his words through Moses. When will we be passionate enough to embrace Mount Sinai ourselves?
My heart for the church and for this generation is to see people discipled and transformed into the likeness of Christ—without worrying or being discontent, but knowing the fullness of their sonship in Christ. I can’t imagine knowing less of His love than I have been graced to experience already, and I want others to know it as well. There is a fire in my belly that only grows more intense each day, and my passion is to share that fire with the world—young and old, near and far.
Joshua 1:6-9 6 “Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left ((Isaiah 30:21)), that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Jeremaiah 1:4-9 4 The word of the LORD came to me, saying,5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” 6 “Ah, Sovereign LORD,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.” 7 But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD. 9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “Now, I have put my words in your mouth.